I have been single for 6 years. I have been fairly content with this for a long time. I don't go out and try to meet new people and I don't really worry about the proverbial clock that is ticking. It just doesn't phase me. That was until last night.
I have no idea what changed. I don't know if that poisonous microwave popcorn did it or if I just saw the wrong post on Facebook before I went to sleep. I was cursed with weird dreams of returning ex-boyfriends, people professing love, and family members having kids.
I hereby recognize why I do what I do. I had one great love and it didn't work. I have held everything up to that and probably mildly sabotaged everything that didn't feel like that did. At some point, I realized that nothing was going to work until I gave in and let everything go. I am fairly certain I have, but is it too late?
I know some people will laugh and say, you are 30. I know, but I am 30! I know how to work! I know how to network! I don't know how to date! I don't even know how to have a relationship. At what age is it too late? At what point do we ask for help? How do you ask for help?
I don't think I secretly want kids. I can always borrow nephews, niece or a rent-a-niece. I do wonder if it is too much to wonder if it is too much to want a little bit of happiness that isn't just mine.