One of my favorite quotes is a literary quote. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” A few years ago, I was watching the movie "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and I was struck by how real this movie was. Stephen Chbosky's book captured and the movie that followed, perfectly captured the angst and anxiety young people feel while navigating real issues for the first time.
This quote in particular struck me because I think it is something that is so true on so many levels. I relate to it because I have given an excuse like this when someone wanted to pursue a relationship with me. I have had many health hiccups over the years. Obviously, I have talked about mental illness, but I have also had issues with asthma, neuropathy, and severe migraines. Looking back, who gives a damn. No one is perfect. I know at the time, I was feeling like a burden on everyone. I had just had a ladder accident and I was having nerve issues with my feet. My migraines and neck pain were so severe that I wast hopping from neurologist to neurologist. I was 24 years old and I wasn't fun. I had to cancel plans all of the time because I was stuck in bed puking, and I just thought no one would want to deal with that. Well, the selfish part of that is that I never once thought of what someone else would want. My friends did want to be around me. I could have had a relationship. I just didn't think I deserved it.
6 years later, I believe we all accept the love we think we deserve. I think I am single because I haven't quite learned how to move past my insecurities. I think my mom doesn't believe anything my brother says because she is afraid she did something wrong. I believe that women who stay in abusive relationships stay because they think that it is their fault.
Listen to your heart and maybe you will learn something important.