Last evening, I had a one evening vacation. No, it wasn't really a vacation. I drove 3 hours, had a nice hotel room, and sat and read while knowing that my cats were safe in the hands my favorite neighbor. Most people knew I was going down to Cincinnati and northern Kentucky for a brief stay, but I was dismissing the thought until the moment I crossed into Ohio.
I had been scared and anxious about leaving, as always, but this time was different. I was afraid of what was on the other end of that trip. I arrived in Cincinnati around 8:30 pm and my first choice of food just wouldn't seat me or the guy behind me. We both stormed out, but laughed it off in the parking lot. I ended up going to Wendy's where I ran into my new friend again. We waited for about 20 minutes on food. The hotel was nice, but the elevator hated me. It only opened for the guy eating Skyline Chili. I swear it just wanted food. I could list all kinds of missteps that happened that night and morning, but it isn't really the point.
When I fell asleep last night, I slept better than I have in months. Maybe it was because Amber wasn't smacking me in the face, or maybe it was because I was finally coming to peace with what I was looking for, but I was finally calm for the first time in months.
I came back as soon as I could for meetings in the afternoon and came back to do a few office things. I felt no anxiety going into work. I was excited to go in, even on my day off. I laughed and chatted with my boss, caught up on important emails, and went to my favorite meetings of the month.
I know why I felt peaceful coming back. It was all of the people I encountered today. Whether they were in Kentucky or Indiana, you helped put my reeling mind at ease. I finally know where I am going... for now!