I am no stranger to new and strange fads. Fad diets, fashion, and yes relaxation techniques are no different. I was having a terrible week last week. My medication was not acting right, my brain was racing, and I just felt off. That is why I made one of my 30 days of relaxation goals to be do meditation.
First off, I am a huge proponent of hypnosis. I was slightly optimistic because I thought it was a relaxed state and maybe it would be similar. It really wasn't. I'll give it credit, it was relaxing. At one point, I felt so relaxed that it felt like I had a glass of wine in my system. I promise, I didn't.
I had no idea where to even start. Do you listen to a recording, watch a video, read a book? I thought videos and books seemed to defeat the purpose of having your eyes clothes and relaxing. I went for an audio that a friend provided. I shooed the felines away and sat on my bed in the comfiest clothes I could come up with. As I sat and listened to this strange man, I tried to push away all of my stressors. I think it worked because I was less temper tantrumy the next day. I remember as I sat there, my body would shift to what he was saying. As he talked about negativity, I found myself slumped. As he mentioned releasing, I would be straight up. I have no idea if I consciously did it or not, but it was fascinating.
Will I try meditation again? probably. I may read a book first to see what the goals and background are first. Until that time, I still have hypnosis to keep me from being a monster.
Hello. My name is Victoria. I have a problem with being impulsive. It may be part of my anxiety, depression, and bipolar tendencies, but I think I may need supervision.
Nah. I’m good. It has taken me years to realize that I have a stubborn off switch and an easy on switch. My mom always blames herself for teaching me bad habits, but honestly, I don’t think that is it at all. My siblings are all more restrained and level headed than myself. I may have super work drive, but I can switch gears faster than an Indy Car driver.
Pros of being impulsive
Around 6 months ago, I decided that I was going to do something totally new and totally for myself. I have always dreamed about doing some sort of writing, but I am actually not the greatest at writing. This puts a damper on things. I can talk in public, make charts, come up with stories in my head, but once I am really putting details to paper, I am not the best.
One of my ultimate goals is to get off my lazy ass and open that document that was started that Sunday night. I was listening to Lauren Conrad’s new book and she was gushing about her techniques on being a successful writer. One hour every day… This seemed awesome.
I mapped out my characters, plot, chapters, overall theme, and even started the first chapter. Damn you Lorelei Gilmore for making this sound so easy. You are a freaking Gilmore, of course it is easy!
Here are my current lessons I have learned from this time of adventure and misfortune.
Part of me wants to say, “Is it ever going to stop raining?” I think that is just the attitude of most of my Indiana counterparts rubbing off on me. I also don’t want to build an ark so it needs to eventually stop. While sitting here listening to the rain hit my patio (because of course I have my windows open), I remember that young girl who wanted so badly to move to Seattle. She wanted to frolic in the rain and wash her hair, wear hippy clothes, carry lavender and drink Starbucks coffee..
I went to Seattle. Food and drinks were good, but guess what? It rains in Indiana too. No shit huh? It really is fascinating what a little bit of rain can do. All of the colors suddenly change. Plans change. Safety changes. The amount of dirt on my car changes. Score 1 for rain! It is truly refreshing.
If you think about something as simple as rain in nature, it makes you wonder why we don’t have that in our lives. I know.. wine. Yes. That refreshes my soul. Technically, my friend, that makes you more thirsty.
Do you remember in the Notebook when Allie and Noah are stuck on the boat in the rain? It was like their entire past of negativity and hurt was washed away. Every girl wanted a kiss in the rain after that. It wasn’t because they wanted to be sopping wet and have mascara drip into their eyes. They wanted all of the complications of life and love to be swept away I a perfect moment.
The Rain by Vedera
The rain is gentle some days
It can clean up the mess that winter made
The rain can wash all the years
Of drought and the tears that were shed
So just look up please
Shine a little bit of hope to me
Let me know, there’s a season for all
And a season to call you my love
And throw me off with your pride, it’s okay
I won’t hide here again and again
I’ll tell you there’s no mistaking
The reason that I’m not afraid
‘Cause I am the rain
The rain will wash us clean and I know
The rain will wash us clean
And when it does I will be right
Beside you holding on, holding on
Don’t spoil the movie for me! I haven’t seen it yet! Wonder Woman is being applauded for being a true representation of what women should look up to in the realm of super heroes. I personally don’t like DC comics, but I will say it looks intriguing. I love Black Widow, but she isn’t necessarily a role model.
Once upon a time, I was a huge celebrity follower, movie lover, and entertainment enthusiast. As we get older and realize that the world is being enveloped by more Kardashians and Kardashian wannabes, we start to look for something real. We want real stories of heroism. We want real stories of people who make a difference without having to sell their soul.
I am going to introduce you to 5 modern day wonder women that will inspire you to be a better person. Look them up. Follow them. Aspire to be them.
2. Jenny Lawson
If you asked me who my hero was on a personal level, I would hands down say Jenny Lawson. Jenny Lawson is journalist, author and blogger. She is the author of The Bloggess website, co-authored Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle and was a columnist for SexIs magazine. She has two books, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” and my persona favorite, “Furiously Happy,” a powerful look into the psyche of a person with mental illness and everyday struggles. She is well known for her humorous and off the wall writing style. She suffers from rheumatoid arthritis, depression, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, trichotillomania and mild obsessive-compulsive disorder.
3. Park Yeon-mi
A few months ago I saw this video making its rounds on Facebook. It was a girl who I thought was a teenager, speaking on human rights and trafficking. She was older and she was wise beyond her years. We think we know pain, but she knows real pain. Park Yeon-mi is a North Korean defector and human rights activist who escaped to China in 2007 and settled in South Korea in 2009. After her father was sent to a labor camp for smuggling, her family faced starvation. They fled to China, where Park and her mother fell into the hands of human traffickers before escaping to Mongolia. She is now an advocate for victims of human trafficking in China due to PTSD and works to promote human rights in North Korea and around the globe.
4. Razia Jan
Razia Jan, has worked for many years to forge connections between Afghans and Americans. Razia is the founder of Razia’s Ray of Hope Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of women and children in Afghanistan through community-based education. She was nominated as a Top 10 CNN Hero of 2012 for her work on the Zabuli Education Center, a school that she founded in rural Afghanistan that provides a free education to about 350 girls.
5. Graça Machel
Graça Machel DBE is a Mozambican politician and humanitarian. She is the widow of former South African president Nelson Mandela and of Mozambican president Samora Machel. Machel is an international advocate for women’s and children’s rights and in 1997 was made a British dame for her humanitarian work. Now that is power and passion.
“Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with.”
― Brodi Ashton, Everneath
It is sad when you realize that everything is eventually final. We spend our whole lives fighting to make every moment worth it, and if we are lucky it was.
Recently, I have seen so many things become final. It was understandably difficult when my grandfather passed away last January 24. I remember this day because I found out after I was walking out of the My City Summit by YLNI. The funeral was on my birthday. He was my favorite grandparent certainly, but it was hard because he was the last. Somehow I feel as if 30 years old is to young to have no grandparents. I guess I should be lucky because I have friends with no parents. When he passed away, I was lucky enough to be preparing the presentation for the previous two years. He liked to tango on the edge. He learned how to be stubborn from my grandmother. I had the unfortunate pleasure to have the flu that day, but I knew the message I wanted portrayed. My grandfather was a 32nd degree mason and a veteran. He worked his ass off and he deserved an award for surviving with my grandmother. I love her, but you would need to meet her to understand.
Yesterday, I had two circumstances that made things a little more final. My sister arrived at my parents house to give these certificates to all of the grandparents that were in honor of my grandfather. My uncle thought it would be something we would all cherish. The memories were enough to be cherished, but this was good.
The more humorous part of the day was when my little nephew Cal was riding home with me. We were having one of those philosophical debates that only a highly gifted 4 year old and a history nerd could have. My other nephew decided that my mom’s car was now named Mario Yoshi. This made sense because his mom’s car was Blue Yoshi. I remind you that Cal is from a family of transportation gurus. Every man in my family has a certain mode of transportation that they are mildly obsessed over. Cal’s dad work’s for Honda so he can get defensive about cars (even though he is secretly a train guy). Cal was absolutely appalled that these cars had names. It didn’t make sense. Car’s don’t have names because they aren’t real and they aren’t people. I opened my big mouth and said my car is named Marquis de Lafayette. He was a real person and my car is named after him. He didn’t believe that such a stupid name was real. Good old Wikipedia proved him wrong. He was shocked. He went on and on asking me about Lafayette’s life and death. I was very perplexed by this. Why was he so interested in the bad day that he died? My mom informed me after that, that Cal had been obsessed with death since great grandpa died. Great. I changed the subject. Nope. An hour later, he brought it up again. I told him it was a bad day because he had a premonition Justin Bieber would exist in the future. He believed that. He need some proof, but overall it was a save.
It breaks my heart that someone so young can be so confused by death and so impacted. It is my hope and dream that he is able to grow and not fear it. I hope he learns that it is a normal thing and you should live life to the fullest until you are called home.
Yesterday, I also drove past a grave I hadn’t been by in ten years. I think I was still afraid. It was like it symbolized when we all grew up too fast.
Today is like yesterday. I received a call about a wonderful person who passed. I was struck by the last line of the obituary. In keeping to the spirit of how *this person* lived her full and generous life, please consider making a charitable donation to the organization of your choice and passion.
Passion. Live every day with passion, generosity and kindness. Death will come eventually, but maybe we can protect some of that innocence around us with a little positive life.
This year has been a roller coaster. I would say that I started 2016 just like every other year of my life. I was a devout conservative, member of the Republican party, and I scoffed at the term feminism. So many things have happened since that time. Come 2017, I am chubbier, I have had at least 20 hair colors since then, and I turned 30.
I won’t go into nitty gritty details on why my opinions on feminism changed so drastically, but I can’t believe that I am one.
Once upon a time, a girl believed she was the princess of the her employers world. She genuinely believed that she would get everything in return for the effort she put in. That isn’t’ how things happen in the real world. I imagine it feels like you bought a Coach purse and got it home and realized it said Goach. You realize that the real world is a jungle and even your closest allies can be poisonous. You don’t realize why people don’t realize that you are killing yourself to be the best, but someone else who just barely gets by is the one who gets recognized.
This same story happens every day to hundreds of women. No one is unique and before you think it is me, it isn’t. Maybe this is why so many women have problems:
Data in this blog is from Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.
Please visit http://leanin.org/ for more information on inspiring and uplifting women in your professional environment.
My generation has it right. It is incredibly annoying when we get blamed for all of the pain and laziness of the world, but I am fairly certain, that is just not the case. I recently read an article that claimed that millenials can’t retire because they eat avocado toast. First off, how do you know our retirement plans when the oldest of us are in our early thirties. Second, what is this and how did I not know about it?
In the past few years, I have noticed a major insurgence of local businesses feeding the masses. Quaint local eateries are everywhere. I even have friends who refuse to go to places like Applebee’s. I never would have gone to any of these places in my hermit life. Since I joined my book club and other social groups, I find myself hopping to different amazing eateries. Here is my challenge to you local businesses and chains. I will list the top 5 places in Fort Wayne according to my judgment and by the raves I hear. I will also do a rank of bests bar service. If you disagree, invite me out and I will review you myself.
The Hoppy Gnome
I have nothing but pleasant things to say about this place. I was terrified of the menu for quite a while, but they were serving at Zoo Brew and Wine Too and they hooked me. It took me a while to go in because I had no idea what I ate, but I found it. The Korean Short Rib is to die for. The Mahi Mahi is also a dream. You also can’t leave without the smores. Just don’t try.
The Friendly Fox
Sometime after the continuous comparing of different restaurants, our book club decided that the Friendly Fox was the only place to go. I can’t resist the BLT or the flatbread. The ever-changing local art is just one of the charms that makes this place feel like home.
Wine Down Tastings and Tapas
I have yet to meet a menu item that is bad. The service is impeccable, I have even gone in just for the food. If you go, just try the sweet potato fries with the awesome pumpkin ketchup.
I think the draw from the chefs helped this place. It is pricey, but it is pretty worth it.
Yummi BunniI went there. I had to add unhealthy food to the list. I mean, isn’t that the best kind? This is the new thing. Who would have imagined?
You are served by a real Irish person if you are lucky. It is still my favorite chill spot after all of these years.
Two Words. Lady Stark.
They have wine vending machines. Oh and this drink called a smoked old fashion. It is kinda the shit. Just go.
I’m not an alcoholic. I love tea. They have amazing tea. Try the Matcha.
I am typically a wine drinker now that I am older. This is the only place that I feel obligated to have a fancy martini and not feel bad about it. It will take at least 5 minutes to decide which one I want to knock me on my ass though. Worth it.
I am a shopaholic. I would say I am a fashionista, but my clothes are not that impressive. I do have one accessory that I really enjoy getting though. Glasses. As of last year, I still had every pair of glasses from the past 10 years. Why? Because they all go better with different outfits. This year I was lucky enough to get two pairs of glasses with my old person prescription (yes, 30 is old at the moment). I also got a copy of my prescription so I could get some cheap yet attractive frames online. After everything, I had 4 glasses, 2 prescription sunglasses, and contacts.
You may be wondering what the point of my excessive eyewear is. I mentioned that I had every pair of glasses from the past 10 years, except the really expensive pair that I inevitably lost 6 months before I went on the shopping spree. I decided that I was tired of hording these things. They filled up a drawer in my jewelry armoire, they were tucked in the couch, my desk, my car, and pretty much everywhere. I was about to throw them away until I realized that not everyone is as lucky as me. I may not always be able to afford everything I want, but I do have plenty of some things. That day, I started to research some options. I also half blame an episode of Nerdette that inspired me.
Here is what my options came down to:
https://www.new-eyes.org/recycle – Eyeglasses in good condition are sent to medical missions and international charitable organizations for distribution to the poor in developing nations. The key word for me was international. We are very lucky in this country. I sometimes wish I could just go somewhere and help, but alas bill will not go away because I care too much.
https://saving-sight.org/eyeglass-recycling-program – Eyeglass Recycling has been a signature project for Lions Clubs across the country for more than 70 years. Saving Sight supports the Lions in this cause by serving as a collection and distribution center for recycled eyeglasses, collecting approximately 60,000 pairs per year. This is a well established program.
Did you know: 153 million people worldwide suffer from vision problems, which can usually be corrected with glasses?
We see the problem. Let’s fix it. don’t throw away your glasses. If you are interested in donating, please visit one of the above websites. If you want to be a part of my large donation drop, contact me.